The Taylor Swift Teeny Bopper Club
Welcome to the awesome club
I was going to write about my car accident over the weekend. (And yes, you read that correctly. We were in another car accident.) But OMG WTF SMH LOL GTFO LMAO #HappyBirthdayTaylorSwift!!!!!
*cue the sound of millions of young women screaming in the pure ecstasy that should only be reserved for receiving one’s college acceptance letter into an Ivy league or coming face-to-face with Jesus himself, but OMG WTF SMH LOL GTFO LMAO it’s #HappyBirthdayTaylorSwift!!!!!*
The obsession with Taylor Swift ranks right there in the top ten things that I will never understand. (Kim Kardashian is also on that list.) I mean, I get liking famous people. They are, well, famous.
But Taylor Swift is in another category altogether, made possible by the Taylor Swift Teeny Bopper Club. The members consist of all those young women who are screaming in adoration and exultation (see above). And, the Club membership seems to be ever expanding. It’s a cult thing. A very evil cult, full of the righteous anger of a hormonal girl. OMG WTF SMH LOL GTFO LMAO How dare you say anything about my idol that isn’t total adoration and exhalation!!!!!
When I was in law school, I came in direct contact with said Club members. And, I can tell you with all sorts of scientific certainty–I am being totally serious here–they are worse than the Freemasons or Scientology. Because they are very public. And did I mention most of them were hormonal.
And they aren’t afraid to wield their swords of Twitter to take down anyone, who, like me, does not understand this exclusive Club.
Back to law school and meeting these Club members. I was in line one day, waiting … the irony of this is not missed on me … to initiate into Phi Alpha Delta.* I was surrounded by The Girls that I called the Sorority Sisters because they were all in sororities in undergrad. The kind that actually has initiations that are dangerous, embarrassing, or potentially illegal.
All of a sudden, my ear drums exploded.
I heard their war cry, a.k.a. the hormonal scream of righteous fury. Apparently, Ms. Swift released an album or a single or went grocery shopping or perhaps said something to someone. Then, once one of them screamed, lots of them screamed. Followed by much jumping up and down, and pointing at their cell phone screens. Let’s just say that it was a very long and very loud wait in this line.
But before I die on my own sword, I want to say one thing.
#HappyBirthdayTaylorSwift!!!!!
(Also, WTF.)
* Unlike undergrad, you just stand up and get a certificate that says you paid your membership dues. So, just as boring as being a lawyer. Touché.
The Book Promos
Get a bunch of new reads for your holiday time off! I’m participating in the “Stuff Your Kindle This Christmas” giveaway.
The Poll
Last newsletter’s poll results:
But wait! I had two extra people vote by email, both who said that watching Christmas movies was their jam! Let’s all queue Die Hard.
Happenings
I decided that these newsletters were getting a bit long, so I cut out the polls. Let me know what you think about the email length, and what you like or dislike. Yay or nay on the polls? Yay or nay on the world news? Yay or nay on the furbaby photos?
Also, I would appreciate it if you forwarded my email to anyone who would like to sign up. :)
The address to subscribe (and to read past newsletters) is: https://www.joepawdog.com
This week on the blog, I explained the dropped gun possession charge in the Kyle Rittenhouse murder trial: https://www.blawggers.com/kyle-rittenhouse-trial-gun-possession/
And you might have noticed that I change my Twitter handle. It’s my effort to rebrand myself as an author. Don’t worry, I still love my doggy.
All About Festus
Festus’s fur-mommy writes:
This is our furbaby. His name is Festus and he is a ChiPoo. We adopted him and his mommy about 7 years ago. His mommy, Gidget, had severe deforming arthritis. She had Fes late in life and he was the only one who survived the litter. “Mommy” as we called her passed away about a year and a half after being rescued. She passed on a Sunday night before the Monday she was going for a wheelchair 7 years later Festus is now my Medical Alert service dog. He also has my husband wrapped around his paw. The two always go to every place together as well as sleep together. It’s super cute.