Run Forrest Run
I just felt like runnin'
My brother came to visit recently, and I caught up on all my family gossip.* Mostly, this conversation consists of all the people who have died since I last checked Facebook (approximately the last time that I saw my brother, which was like 5 years ago). As it turns out, the older you get, the more people you know pass away. It was a real downer to find out the people in my family who died.
* The worst part of his visit was that I had to clean my house.
My brother is fairly thin because he is a cross-country runner. My nephew (who was not there as he is living on his college campus) is also thin, as he is a cross-country runner. My niece (who was there) was so thin that I could barely see her. The Kid is also thin, I think even thinner than my niece, if that’s even possible. And The Husband is also thin because he works out on a daily basis.
On the other hand, I am a middle-aged woman. Which should tell you everything you need to know about my weight.
The long and the short of this is that I decided to do something that requires movement. This is quite the dangerous situation for me, since I’m not known for my movement. Thus far in life, I have been able to survive on my stellar metabolism. (I mean, my daughter inherited her stick-figure from someone.)
So I bought a pair of running shoes. These were Sacony running shoes, which after much research of one site from a Google search and a couple of online reviews on Amazon, are supposed to be one of the best running shoes out there. Mine also happened to be all black, which I thought was cool.
The day of their arrival: they don’t fit.
That’s because buying shoes from Amazon sucks. Buying any woman’s clothing in general online sucks. Every manufacturer has their own way of measuring women’s bodies. I could fit into a size 2 in one brand and a size 8 in another. (I’m not exaggerating—if you don’t believe me, ask your nearest woman.) I also happen to be an expert at buying women’s clothing because I am a woman, and I’ve been doing it all my life.
Anyway, I now had to return said running shoes, go to the running shoe store … yes, they actually have entire stores that sell nothing but running shoes … and buy a pair that fits. Which defeated the purpose of buying running shoes from Amazon.
But, I did. Go to the store, I mean. My new shoes cost me $100, which means that running will end up being an expensive hobby if I don’t use these running shoes. They are also black with white soles, which means I can’t get away with wearing them as office shoes.
That’s the secret to running, btw. Buy #&#^%*^% shoes that are very expensive to guilt-trip you into getting into shape. Make them look like running shoes, so you are forced to buy them only for running.
But I decided that this activity was healthy for me because I do not want to be the next topic of depressing conversation around the family dinner table.
Promos
All all-genre free book giveaway! Relax, enjoy, read. Be sure to check out “Benjamin’s Adventure” by P.D.R. Lindsay … so cute!
We also have another all-genre free book giveaway: End of April Book Bash. "Woman of the Stone" by by S.V. Farnsworth looks worth reading.
I’m also announcing my partnership with The Sample again … this service sends you one article from a random blog or newsletter that matches up with your interests. You can find some new people to follow.
Happenings
Speaking of things that refuse to die, Kesha and Dr. Luke just got a new trial date. (I’m talking about that their trial refuses to die … not them.) I wrote all about the timeline of that whole ordeal over at my newly minted website. I’m still porting over all my posts from my various blogs, so please forgive me everything is not up yet. But it’s looking rather snazzy, unlike my running shoes.
In an effort to wrangle all the legal writing under control, I decided to switch around the publishing schedule. I will now be sending my updates out on Friday and publishing my trending legal posts on my website on Monday.
I’m so watching Forrest Gump (affiliate link). It’s free on Prime rn.
Since Joe hasn’t made an appearance lately, I thought I would show you his cute face. He agreed to be my running partner in exchange for copious amounts of treats.
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