Important House Guests
The only time our house is clean
The last few weeks since my daughter had her car accident has been a whirlwind of activity, such as doctor’s appointments, house guests, and various delivery people dropping off flowers.* These house guests, other than the contractor who is putting a small addition onto our house, were visiting The Kid. They generally brought chocolate and stuff, too. I can say with all sorts of medical certainty – I am being totally serious here – that chocolate is yummy.
* Said flowers were all promptly eaten by the cat, who would like me to inform you that he thoroughly enjoyed them. After eating them, he promptly threw all half-digested flower bits all over the carpet. Rinse and repeat.
I have a funny cartoon on my refrigerator that states the only time the house gets clean is when someone comes over. Partial #truth.
One of these visitors was The Kid’s father, whom I shall call B. His name may or may not start with B. If it does, it is a total coincidence.
Anyway, B and I have been divorced for quite a long time. We did not have a nice divorce, if you can call any divorce nice. I could, in fact, write an entire book about nasty divorces, but I doubt anyone would buy it because “nasty” and “divorce” are pretty much synonyms.
After I won custody of our child, he decided to punish me by moving down the block from me. One of the things we argued about is whether or not he was entitled to inspect my house. Because he wanted to make sure the house was “good” enough for our daughter.
I told him that aliens would invade earth before he could come inside and inspect my house. Also, our houses were exactly the same. Since we lived in exactly the same condo association. Every single house was exactly the same. Did I mention the houses were exactly the same?
Besides, didn’t he get the cartoon memo that houses are cleaned when someone comes to visit???
As you can imagine, B was not allowed inside the house with me being home. The Kid was not able to supervise this visit since she has a tendency to fall asleep a lot (due to the medication). She did, in fact, fall asleep during this visit.
A couple of days later, my ex-in-laws called up The Kid and demanded to know why B was not allowed to visit her without me being home. I want to stress this point. B did not call or ask why he couldn’t come over without me being there. His parents called to ask why my ex-husband could not visit while I was home.
But all is good. Before he came over, I cleaned the house.
Just kidding. My husband did.
The Book Promos
This newsletter, we are back with fabulous Audrey Walker book. This book is called Deadly Touch ~ and it’s FREE on Amazon right now!!! This series features Robin Matthews, a gritty detective. Yeah for bad ass female leads.
I want to thank everyone for your well wishes for both The Kid and myself! We had an outpouring of love.
You’ll notice that Joe’s mug has been replaced in this newsletter. I’d love to feature your furry animal in future installments, so please email me. I also use the pictures on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. If you send in a picture, feel free to tell me a funny story too. If no one sends me any pictures, I may rip off Pixabay for random dog and cat photos and make up stories about them.
I’m also reading Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. I cannot stress to you how truly, utterly boring this book is. It’s taken me at least three weeks to get to the 50% mark. And I can read a Brandon Sanderson 700 page tome in one day. The sentences are beautiful. But did I mention to you how utterly boring it is???