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A Heat Wave Is Not the Wave
Hotter than ... you fill in the blank
Unless you’ve been living under a rock … in which case, you’d probably be dead because of the heat … the world has been blasted with a massive heat wave. This is summer, you say, and it’s supposed to be hot. From Florida’s water peaking in around 100 to some of the hottest temperature recordings in the world, this wave isn’t the fun kind.
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I didn’t care for Los Angeles too much. It was okay to visit … and the outdoor gym was awesome … but I guess I’ve been living in rural Pennsylvania for too long because I didn’t like the heat, the massive amount of people, and all the traffic.
Turns out, all the people and stuff is a real thing to add to the heat index. It’s called the urban heat island effect, where city civilization absorbs heat (concrete, asphalt and roofs) that radiates back into the atmosphere.
Did you also know that Los Angeles has a lot of … sharks? Coincidentally or not so coincidentally, Shark Week ends this week. Shark Week is terrifying because it’s all about sharks, which are terrifying. They have a cool program later today called The Haunting of Shark Tower. Deets if you wanna stream it.
Because it’s way too hot outside, I thought I would compile a list of things to do when it’s too hot outside:
Put a bowl of ice in front of a fan. Useful even if you have AC.
Make lemonade. Southerners drink lots of lemonade and sweet tea, so there must be some magical properties to make you cooler.
Build a sun oven. It’s kinda like a slow cooker, but you leave it out in the sun.
Go to Five Below and buy yourself a kiddie pool. For the dog.
Sit in said kiddie pool all day. The dog can stay inside in the AC.
Better yet, throw those ice cubes in the kiddie pool.
Have a water balloon fight.
Drink more lemonade.
Buy a fan that has a built-in spritzer.
Or just buy a bladeless neck fan. OMG where have you been all my life?
Eat lots of ice cream. I bet you could sustain yourself on ice cream and lemonade.
Open up a lemonade stand.
Offer free kiddie pool dunks with a purchase of lemonade.
If you are really cheap, buy a Home Depot bucket and stick your feet in it. Don’t operate any electronic items while doing so. You get two gold stars if you put ice cubes in the bucket, one gold star if you eat ice cream, and one gold star if you drink lemonade.
Stay inside and watch The Lincoln Lawyer under a fan and the AC.
Only one promo today called The July Giveaway. Appropriately, it’s in July, and a bunch of authors are giving away free books and short stories. Head over to grab yourself a few.
What I didn’t get around to doing was watching The Lincoln Lawyer tv show on Netflix. I plan to stay inside all weekend, drink lots of iced coffee (cuz it’s a lot better than lemonade, bruh), and stick my feet in a Home Depot bucket filled with ice cubes.
If you are so inclined, check out my Facebook page. Starting Monday, I will be doing updates on The Lincoln Lawyer tv show. I’m going to try to update every day, so if you are interested in the show, check it out.
Stay cool, my friends.